How to Start Praying With Your Spouse

Faith, Marriage
How to Start Praying With Your Spouse | Prayer is such a vital part of a marriage, but sometimes it can be kinda awkward to start the habit of praying together! This post is perfect for newlyweds or anyone who wants to start praying more with your significant other! Click through to read!

Prayer is a big deal, and it’s something that I struggle a with a bit. I don’t struggle too much with praying on my own, but I’ve always felt a tiny bit awkward to pray in front of others and A LOT awkward to pray in front of my husband, Alex. Why is that?? Maybe, it’s just because we know our spouse’s so well and it’s so personal, but I’ve heard that a lot of people feel the same way…soooo I figured that I would write about how we have overcome this hiccup a little bit.

I truly believe that praying with our spouses is VITAL to the health of our marriage. It affects everything from getting over arguments quicker to having more fun in the bedroom. I’m serious! If you don’t believe me…well that’s for another blog post 😉 Here are my tips for getting over the awkwardness and praying more fluidly and naturally with your spouse!


Ask God to help

This seems like such a “duh” statement, but it’s the one that always seems to slip my mind until I’m a little worked up and frustrated. It’s the one I’m always struggling with but getting better on, so I wanted to make sure to mention it in case you’re the same way. Pray about it, girlfriend! Ask God to help with this situation and make things a little smoother for the both of you. He WANTS to help and He cares for us, so this simple step can have such far-reaching effects in our marriages if we will just let Him work in us!

Related:  Finding Your Bible Study Style


Try to figure out what is holding you up in the first place

This can happen alone, or you can do this with your spouse. Personally, I used to be so nervous to pray together that the thought of talking about why we weren’t praying together didn’t make me super comfortable. Maybe it’s not that for you, though. Maybe your spouse isn’t on the same path with God as you or maybe the two of you have been going through some hard times and aren’t speaking much at all. If you can talk about why you’re hitting a brick wall in the prayer department, great! But if not, it’s okay to do this part in your quiet space with God.

During this time, try to list out all the reasons for your lack of prayer together. This can be anything, and there is no wrong answer! Be honest! If you can come up with some solutions along the way or some ideas to try out, go for it! This is mainly just to get all the feelings out in the open in order to move past them in a positive way!




Talk to your spouse

If you haven’t been on this journey together so far, now is the time to talk about it. Bring up why it’s important to you that prayer happens together sometimes, and hear your partner’s side out. Your spouse may not even know that it is something that you want OR maybe your spouse is even feeling the same way! This doesn’t have to be a daunting conversation, and it doesn’t have to happen tomorrow. 😉 Spend time praying with God, thinking things over, and then just aim for some open, easy dialogue with your partner on how you might make this change.

Related:  The #1 Reason to Bless Your Husband


Still not sure where to start? 2 things that helped us!

  • Make it a habit! In this busy world, we often let our marriages and even our spiritual lives fall by the wayside. I’m not judging! It happens to me too…even though, I don’t like admitting it. Just like you would make a fitness goal or a goal for your job, write down your new goal to start praying more with your spouse. Mark a day down in the calendar for when you would like to talk to them about it. Set smaller goals along the way to help you get there. Whatever you might normally do to reach a goal, pray about creative ways to set and achieve this one as well!
  • Pray about certain things at certain times! This was a little odd for me at first, because the thought of “habitual, routine” prayers isn’t really my thing. BUT, I realized that we weren’t getting very far in our prayer life, and I was willing to try just about anything. So, how does it work? Pick some times during the day when you and your spouse are both together. Ideal times for this are those in which you are doing a daily, routine thing. Pray over that activity together and bonus points if you hold hands while you do it! Below are some examples that you might be able to use, but feel free to brainstorm some of your own as well!

Before walking out the door for work…..pray over the drive and that you both arrive safely

Before a workout…..ask for strength and endurance

During meal times.….give thanks for the meal and ask God to bless the food you are about to eat

During date night…..thank God for your partner!

Before bed…..give thanks for all the things that happened that day and talk to God about whatever is on your heart

During cleaning…..try spending this time talking with God and thanking Him for all that you have

Before sex (yes, seriously)…..thank God for your spouse and ask Him to help you be a servant lover


There you go! I hope that this post helps you on your journey to praying more with your spouse! I did want to mention that my husband and I are in no way, shape, or form exactly where we should be in our prayer life. We still struggle in this area, and I still find myself saying, “oh! We haven’t prayed together in…I don’t even know how long!” But when that happens, I think about some of the things here, pray about it, and talk to Alex so we can keep moving forward. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing to be open and let God work in your marriage!

What parts of this were most helpful to you?? Or maybe you have another tip that would be useful for someone reading this…comment below and let us know!

Next Story

You Might Also Like

  • exploreoutloud
    February 26, 2018 at 9:52 am

    Thank you for this.

  • lowtonericson
    January 10, 2018 at 4:18 pm

    Searching online for help to get your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, winning a lottery, getting cured from sickness and diseases? Worry less and search no more for the great Lord Doctor Zakuza has been sent by God Almighty to help the needy here on earth for he can help you achieve your dreams and heart desires for i just got my girlfriend back through the assistance of Lord Doctor Zakuza. Get in touch with him now for any issues bothering you for he can also help you too. Email him now via:

  • Lori
    October 17, 2017 at 10:23 pm

    This was a great post. I am so glad you are encouraging us to pray with our husbands. I have been married 15 years now and when I had been married about 5 years I began growing a lot in my faith and praying with much more passion for the first time in my walk with God. I desperately wanted my husband to join me in this new found joy, but he just wasn’t in the same place. I had a wise mentor who encouraged me to “set the stage” and wait and pray. So that is what I did. I went and purchase two very inexpensive thrift store chairs and created a little seating area in the corner of our master bedroom. I began making coffee in the mornings and sitting down for just a minute before the day began and invite my husband to join me for a cup of coffee. After he left for work I would linger a few extra moments and pray for us and pray that he would continue to grow in his walk with the Lord. I didn’t mention this to my husband. I simply invited him to join me for coffee and I continued to pray. I did this for almost a year and slowly over time he would occasionally pray with me. I would sometimes ask if I could pray for him in some way that day, but I never pressured him to pray. Then occasionally I would ask if he wanted to pray. After a while our coffees became several times a week and eventually every day. It took time and sometimes I felt impatient, but in the waiting God was teaching ME so much about His faithfulness. Today my husband is a prayer warrior over me, over our children and over our home. It is absolutely awesome to see how God has used prayer to strengthen us and carry us through many hard experiences. I believe the waiting was crucial for us. It was a beautiful way that God showed me that HE changes us, not me, not my plan and not my nagging. I simply had to pray and wait. God bless you and your husband as you grow in this area. It is the most meaningful thing you could ever do for your marriage.

  • Debbie
    October 31, 2016 at 10:38 pm

    Your words have blessed me so. I read it to my fiance today while riding in the car. This has been a struggle for him to pray for me, but he really loved your suggestions to set times and make goals to pray together. Thank you so much for your obedience. I pray that you continue to let the Lord use you to bless others.

    • Carisa Alford
      November 13, 2016 at 8:52 am

      Thank you so much for reading and for taking the time to share with your fiance!

  • Linda Jones
    October 23, 2016 at 9:20 am

    Oh how I wish he desired to let me pray with him. Great article for someone who’s spouse is receptive to that. I pray he will desire to know God and to allow that intimate, spiritual side be part of our marriage. We’ve been married 32 years so I’ve been praying a lot time but I will persevere!

    • Carisa Alford
      October 23, 2016 at 4:31 pm

      Keep praying! God will come through! He always does!

  • Anonymous
    October 1, 2016 at 3:11 pm

    My husband is the one who prays , says grace before every meal , before a trip , for headaches …etc. I am still too embarrassed , I guess , to pray out loud thinking that I won’t know what to say . We’ve been Christians for about 8 years and I’ve only said grace twice ! I NEVER pray aloud. I don’t think I can even start.

    • Carisa Alford
      October 5, 2016 at 12:16 am

      You definitely can! It’s something that I struggle with as well. Try praying alone for the strength to pray out loud together, and then act on that!

    • Anonymous
      October 25, 2016 at 10:18 pm

      Pray with children. its a great place to start.

  • iesha
    July 24, 2016 at 10:10 am

    Hello there beautiful, first of all i would like to say that i love your website name *BecomingHisCrown* what inspired that name to come alive? Now about this post, its a good one! (: Thank you for writing it. Its nice to know that we are not alone. Your tips i’m sure will help us get on track to where we would like to be 😉 Thanks again.


    • Carisa Alford
      July 27, 2016 at 1:53 pm

      I was inspired by proverbs 12:4! I want to be my husband’s crown and I know that I am a crown and jewel to the Lord! Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment!