Prayer is a big deal, and it’s something that I struggle a with a bit. I don’t struggle too much with praying on my own, but I’ve always felt a tiny bit awkward to pray in front of others and A LOT awkward to pray in front of my husband, Alex. Why is that?? Maybe, it’s just because we know our spouse’s so well and it’s so personal, but I’ve heard that a lot of people feel the same way…soooo I figured that I would write about how we have overcome this hiccup a little bit.
I truly believe that praying with our spouses is VITAL to the health of our marriage. It affects everything from getting over arguments quicker to having more fun in the bedroom. I’m serious! If you don’t believe me…well that’s for another blog post 😉 Here are my tips for getting over the awkwardness and praying more fluidly and naturally with your spouse!
Ask God to help
This seems like such a “duh” statement, but it’s the one that always seems to slip my mind until I’m a little worked up and frustrated. It’s the one I’m always struggling with but getting better on, so I wanted to make sure to mention it in case you’re the same way. Pray about it, girlfriend! Ask God to help with this situation and make things a little smoother for the both of you. He WANTS to help and He cares for us, so this simple step can have such far-reaching effects in our marriages if we will just let Him work in us!
Try to figure out what is holding you up in the first place
This can happen alone, or you can do this with your spouse. Personally, I used to be so nervous to pray together that the thought of talking about why we weren’t praying together didn’t make me super comfortable. Maybe it’s not that for you, though. Maybe your spouse isn’t on the same path with God as you or maybe the two of you have been going through some hard times and aren’t speaking much at all. If you can talk about why you’re hitting a brick wall in the prayer department, great! But if not, it’s okay to do this part in your quiet space with God.
During this time, try to list out all the reasons for your lack of prayer together. This can be anything, and there is no wrong answer! Be honest! If you can come up with some solutions along the way or some ideas to try out, go for it! This is mainly just to get all the feelings out in the open in order to move past them in a positive way!
Talk to your spouse
If you haven’t been on this journey together so far, now is the time to talk about it. Bring up why it’s important to you that prayer happens together sometimes, and hear your partner’s side out. Your spouse may not even know that it is something that you want OR maybe your spouse is even feeling the same way! This doesn’t have to be a daunting conversation, and it doesn’t have to happen tomorrow. 😉 Spend time praying with God, thinking things over, and then just aim for some open, easy dialogue with your partner on how you might make this change.
Still not sure where to start? 2 things that helped us!
- Make it a habit! In this busy world, we often let our marriages and even our spiritual lives fall by the wayside. I’m not judging! It happens to me too…even though, I don’t like admitting it. Just like you would make a fitness goal or a goal for your job, write down your new goal to start praying more with your spouse. Mark a day down in the calendar for when you would like to talk to them about it. Set smaller goals along the way to help you get there. Whatever you might normally do to reach a goal, pray about creative ways to set and achieve this one as well!
- Pray about certain things at certain times! This was a little odd for me at first, because the thought of “habitual, routine” prayers isn’t really my thing. BUT, I realized that we weren’t getting very far in our prayer life, and I was willing to try just about anything. So, how does it work? Pick some times during the day when you and your spouse are both together. Ideal times for this are those in which you are doing a daily, routine thing. Pray over that activity together and bonus points if you hold hands while you do it! Below are some examples that you might be able to use, but feel free to brainstorm some of your own as well!
Before walking out the door for work…..pray over the drive and that you both arrive safely
Before a workout…..ask for strength and endurance
During meal times.….give thanks for the meal and ask God to bless the food you are about to eat
During date night…..thank God for your partner!
Before bed…..give thanks for all the things that happened that day and talk to God about whatever is on your heart
During cleaning…..try spending this time talking with God and thanking Him for all that you have
Before sex (yes, seriously)…..thank God for your spouse and ask Him to help you be a servant lover
There you go! I hope that this post helps you on your journey to praying more with your spouse! I did want to mention that my husband and I are in no way, shape, or form exactly where we should be in our prayer life. We still struggle in this area, and I still find myself saying, “oh! We haven’t prayed together in…I don’t even know how long!” But when that happens, I think about some of the things here, pray about it, and talk to Alex so we can keep moving forward. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing to be open and let God work in your marriage!
What parts of this were most helpful to you?? Or maybe you have another tip that would be useful for someone reading this…comment below and let us know!