How to Know if Your Husband Loves You

Want to know FOR SURE if your husband loves you + what to do if he doesn't? I've got you covered! Click to read my advice on how to find out what he thinks!

I have found the sure-fire way to figuring out if your husband really loves you + how to fix the problem if he doesn’t. It’s honestly crazy that I didn’t think of this sooner, and I am confident that it is going to help SO many marriages flourish. In order to make this as easy as possible, I’m going to lay it out in steps for you. Get ready to be blown away! You might actually already be doing this!


Step 1 – Log on to Instagram/Facebook

Step 2 – Head over to an account that you (occasionally) stalk and compare your life to.

Step 3 – Marvel at all the things her husband does for her. Oh, and the ways he does them! Pure marriage genius!

Step 4 – Silently question why your husband doesn’t do those exact things in those exact ways for you…

Step 5 – Let that information make you furious. Make sure the comparison and envy really infects your marriage.

Step 6 – Step back and watch your marriage become AMAZING!


Okay, okay…I’ll stop now.


If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that I truly have a heart for strengthening marriages. My husband and I have been married for almost two years at this point (I know, I know, still newlyweds LOL) but, in that time, we have made a ton of mistakes. About 6 months after getting married, I decided I wanted to start documenting all the things we were learning in our marriage journey to help others. With that being said, this post is not intended to be mean-spirited or harsh.

Related:  What if You’re a Talker and He’s the Silent Type? 


But it will, hopefully, be a wake-up call.

Comparing our marriage to other relationships we see on social media is ridiculous.

And it needs to stop.



I can speak pretty boldly about this topic, because…wait for it…I do it allllllll the time. And I am d.o.n.e. If I were to stop anyone on the street and ask them if they thought it was true that people show love in different ways, I bet that almost every person would agree. We all quote The Five Love Languages, post cute photos on Instagram that are captioned with some quote about how our man is perfect for us, and we would never tell an engaged girlfriend that she better make sure that her future-husband shows love to her in “this one certain way” because it’s the only way to truly tell if he cares. No, we all KNOW (yes, girl, I know you know) that each marriage is different.

Related:  When You Can’t Find the Better in “For Better or Worse”


It’s time we stop comparing. Right now.

“Carisa, are you reading what you’re typing? It’s time to stop comparing your marriage to anyone else’s.”

“My dear  friend reading this, it’s time to stop comparing.”


If we are solely using social media as our guide, there is no sure-fire way to tell if our husband loves us. But it will undoubtedly make our marriage feel inferior for no reason. However, if we measure love in a way that is individual to our marriage (and our marriage alone), we will start to see all the beautiful ways that we are shown love on a daily basis. If we start to see our marriage through the lens of God’s grace, we will see that our husband is the perfectly-designed partner made by our Heavenly Father above just for us.


Let’s give our men a break. Let’s stop comparing them to the crazy highlight reel shown on social media. Instead, let’s take notice of the unique ways we are shown love each day by the men who swore to love us forever and always.

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  • Reply
    January 1, 2019 at 8:40 am

    Lol well I can tell you I never thought to compare couples on line but I know my husband loves me just not the way I need. We don’t match as a couple. I knew this from the very beginning though. We have been together for 7 years. We met so organically and the day we met I know my life was forever changed. We walked out of that library he went left and I went right then we both did the head turn back thing and smiled, that’s when it popped into my head, he will be in my life for a long time. We are better friends then partners for sure. And I tell him this all of the time. He is a very good man we just do nit match or jive together on a daily basis.

  • Reply
    July 25, 2017 at 4:55 am

    God has given you wisdom girl! It IS a struggle but these words really helped me tonight. I thought I was just getting up to give ny son a bottle, but here I am! Lol thank you.

    • Reply
      Carisa Alford
      October 31, 2017 at 6:36 am

      So sorry that it took me so long to reply! But I’m so encouraged that this encouraged you! You go, mama!

  • Reply
    June 4, 2017 at 10:23 pm

    Love, love love this! Why is this such an issue, at least for me it is. Thank you for sharing your heart and the Lord’s. ?

    • Reply
      Carisa Alford
      June 18, 2017 at 3:25 pm

      Thank you for the encouragement! I struggle with this a lot, but we can fight past it!

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